08 November 2006

Crushes, The Beauty of Iimpossibility, Cute な 's

I get crushes on people really easily. well, not easily, but the simplest things can throw me into a headspin. for example, there's this girl in my Japanese class and i only see her on tuesdays and thursdays and she's way too young for me i know, i think she's Korean, or possibly Chinese i dunno, but she wears the cutest outfits--pink raincoats that match little dolls dangling from her backpack, cute hoodies and sleek looking jeans that come from markets all the way in Asia. and ocassionally, i catch her looking at me, or, at least i think i do, or is she just looking at me because i'm looking at her? once, when we were drill partners together, i handed her my homework because she hadn't done it, and then she told me my な was cute and she smiled. and it delighted me for a week. and of course it means nothing, it has to, but i didn't care, it made me happy.

But crushes like these are impossible, and therefore beautiful because surreal.

It's the little things that move me about someone, the small things that cause a burst of uncontainable gold light to break out of our overcasted human identities, piercing the moment with unmistakable clarity. it's like you get to see that person for who she really is, and in that singular moment, there's nothing that could shine more brightly to our naked eyes.

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