29 April 2007

Some Things I Realized I Love

Recently i've been feeling so healthy, and happy and calm. it's hard to explain why exactly. yoga and good green tea possibly. must be the sun too. and the fact that we're done with all of our mfa formalities. and also, that i have an apartment in chicago now. and i ordered the new feist album. thank god, the build-up of this year has passed like a spring storm. now i just have to finish my japanese class and do well on the exam and i'm straight.

Here are a few things i (re-)realized recently i really like:

1. The weight of certain languages. i really love the way japanese--and italian--feel in my mouth, the way certain words have a certain vibration and strength, they way some words feel on my tongue, lingering on my lips, like a sweet powder. it's both sensual and metaphysical to me when i speak those languages.

2. Asian and latina girls. i don't know why. i've pretty much been emotionally opposed to dating asian--usually, japanese--shorties for as long as i can remember, but something has happened in the past 2 years that i can't quite figure out. if desire has biblical roots, then it must be part of my intelligent design.

3. My body. i know that might sound strange, but i feel like it's super important. and recently, since i spend more time outside and i'm eating more greens, fruit, nuts and juice than i did in the winter, i've started to love the experience of being inside my body. i think human anatomy is one of the greatest miracles of evolution.

4. Soba. i bought this great frozen japanese soba noodles, and after i added a nice miso base, and added okonomiyaki sauce, it was like something out of the jetsons.

5. Other people's laughter. it's a contagion, and i can see why comedians become addicted to it. it's not just that it feels good to be funny, it's that it feels good to be a light source, to be the origin of human flames, to compose moments where laughter is the song.

6. Sex. i forget sometimes, and then i remember and i go, oh yeah, god that stuff's great.

7. Health. i don't take it for granted. but everytime i go for a run, i feel like i'm giving my body love. everytime i meditate or do yoga, i feel like my body is purring. and everytime i eat something that connects me back to nature, i think my body celebrates. it's a strange thought but it make sense: one of the best ways to overcome your alienation in the marxist species-being construct, is to eat foods that remind you where you came from. somehow, i feel less fragmented socially and less ostracized structurally when i eat food that comes from the earth, it's like my food becomes a complex synthesis of memory, a retrieved vitamin source for my lost origins. and sometimes, we really need that.

8. Calmness. yeah.

9. Forgiveness.

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