22 September 2007
Dear coach weis,
I still think you're a pretty great coach, but i have a few words of advice for you, and i wish, i REALLY wish, you'd take them seriously. the faithful still love you, but the tepid and the hostile are starting to demonize you and celebrate our collapse. it's the worst case of athletic schadenfreude i've seen in my entire life. i'm not even playing when i say that. please follow this advice before the board of trustees has to tell this to your face:
1. get a new goddamn punter. a 11 yard punt? are you joking? msu got the ball in irish territory almost every time
2. please show/let JC throw long passes. we have a running game, but now we need a passing game.
3. please teach the wide receivers how to get open
4. consider joining the big 10 conference. yes, we lose money, but we retain our television contract, and we still have something to play for after we go 0-4. whatever team wins the big-10 tournament gets into a bowl, whether they are 13-0 or 0-13. ND only has a chance as an at-large bid, which is not going to happen now. our season is already over, and we're already 0-4. that's terrible motivation. also, there are only 3 independent teams left, it just doesn't make sense anymore.
5. what the hell is happening in the 2nd half? the last time i checked there were 4 quarters to a game. i love your full-contact practices, but you need to build this team's endurance because a good 1st half isn't enough. we keep falling apart in the 2nd half.
6. please read #2 over again.
Your friend and humble servant,