34. Sometimes, when you walk on the sidewalk, the sidewalk moves along with you.
35. Based on the number of pregnant women I see everywhere, birth control isn't real popular.
36. In America you have to pay to get groped by a bunch of people at once but in Buenos Aires you just have to ride the Subte
37. There's jugs of water on the roofs of cars when people are trying to sell their old jalopies (sorry Dave, I stole this one from you)
38. Women in their mid-30's still live with Mom, or their sister, and even grown men don't necessarily pay their own rent
39. Many Porteños that work in companies receive food stamps for restaurants and supermarkets
40. There's a kiosco that sells teen porn right in front of the colegio nacionál, the national high school.
41. Screwing the system often means screwing you
42. Kids smoke pot on the front steps of their parents' apartment
43. Unlike in American cities, cigarettes, beef and gasoline are incredibly cheap
44. Argentines don't treat their dogs like people
45. Like watching futbol, having babies is a national pastime
46. Non-smokers are the minority
47. Overweight, monolingual, white American dudes are exotic here
48. Pedestrians never have the right of way
49. Every Argentine I've talked to wants Obama to win, not just them crazy liberal elitists
50. Instead of hanging out with friends or family for a few hours, people hang out for up to ten hours at a time, and even more miraculously, they don't get sick of each other
51. I've heard more 80's music since I've arrived than I did in all of my life as a 80's child
52. The water here does terrible things to your skin
53. In Buenos Aires, eating at Burger King is considered cool, and even stranger, there's a merienda and a China menu
54. Porteños have no idea what spicy means, nor what real Thai food is
55. When you order salads, you get a lot of cheese, and then maybe a little lettuce for contrast
56. I've talked to enough Porteños to confirm this sneaking suspicion, but no one knows I'm American here. Well, at least not until I talk
57. Even with americanismos like locker, yoga, living and back-up, if you don't say them with a Spanish accent, no one will understand you. And if you get angry and say something like: listen motherfucker, these are my words, you bitches stole this shit from me, you'll get the same blank stare you got when you said the above words without a Spanish accent. Not that I've tried that or anything. But if I had. . .
58. It's actually forbidden by law for women to wear anything except boots or converse all-stars
59. Argentines like to blame a lot of their physical ailments on Asado.
60. When you tell the waiter you're done with your food, this doesn't imply you want the check the way it does in America
61. It's impossible to tell how old a woman is by the back. I can't tell you how many 60-year old women I've seen with banging bodies, only to discover once I've gotten a good look that she's older than my mom
62. People stare shamelessly and they don't feel bad about it when they do
63. In the subways, people plop shit on your lap hoping you'll buy it. And the crazy thing is, it works sometimes