64. Traffic lights turn yellow for a second before turning green, like they're saying "On your mark, get set. . . "
65. It's a fine line between animal cruelty + tough love for dogs here. Here are a few examples: one morning when I was walking to the Subte, I watched an owner who grew impatient with his dog and finally just lifted the poor animal into the air by its collar, carrying him across the street with its little legs dangling. Another time, I watched a pasador (dog walker) try to carry a disobediant pooch on its back, it's paws flailing madly. And that dude was in charge of taking care of other people's pets. Later I discovered that in order to make as much money as possible, pasadores take on way more dogs than they can handle, then they tie them to metal railings or benches or lamp posts, and then they walk them in smaller groups, often in the middle of a busy street. And one time, LB and I were talking to her Argentine cousin about Zoe, our Shia-Poo, when she finally told us "No la tratés a Zoe como un humano," (don't treat your dog like a human--which is exactly what Americans do). The irony of course is that Ines, LB's cousin is studying to be a veterinarian.
66. Hinchas will actually kill you for wearing the wrong football jersey. I saw this first hand in Boca when a bus full of San Lorenzo soccer fanatics started stabbing people in the streets. Okay, I exaggerate to prove a point. But you really can die for wearing the wrong colors; it's like gangland, only with soccer
67. Tights pants + short skirts = corporate garb, not necessarily a statement of sexual liberation at all
68. On a related note, I seriously doubt that the term "sexual harrasment" even exists in the workplace
69. In America, men with long hair = surfer dude or rock star. Here it means soccer hero. Not only that, but I've seen men with long hear wearing head bands, which is culturally forbidden in the US
70. Americans don't know how to hide their nationality sadly (e.g. shorts, bad language skills, baseball caps, Tevya sandals, t-shirts with the names of NBA teams and universities on them, random shouts of "USA! USA! USA!"). Argentines, on the other hand, don't want to hide their nationality. For example, LB and I could spot the Argentines a mile away at Machu Picchu in February: they were the loudest of all the South Americans, they smoked every chance they got, even at Machu Picchu (our Guía scolded them for it), they wore scarves, even when it was hot, and they pranced around in high fashion to hike through dusty trails and rotting vegetation. Not to mention you heard a "che, boludo" every two seconds.
71. A guy sleeping with a prostitute seems about as taboo going to McDonald's: two things that are culturally verboten in progressive circles back home
72. In the subway, most commuters don't move away from each other the first chance they get
73. Stop signs don't mean anything, or if they do, they simply mean just go
74. Lines are a fact of life: lines for the ATM machine, lines for the colectivo, lines that go on for four blocks for the first Madonna show
75. Porteños don't cover their mouth (or their nose) when they sneeze. It's amazing
76. What's beautiful about Buenos Aires is also what makes it a bad fit for those with a weak stomach. Everything is in your face: for example, sometimes, beggars will line up (see #74) in the Subte at Congreso de Tucuman. The first person will be a man without arms asking for change (he collects change with a neck bag, in case you're wondering). Then a blind person will walk through all the cars, bumping into you. Then a woman carrying two passed-out children in her arms. Finally, a burn victim with all of her face melted and a small strand of hair sticking out of the back of head will make the rounds. And that's before the subway has made it to Plaza Italia
77. Canvassers do this weird snapping thing with the paper to get your attention
78. The sexual criteria for beauty and success are different here than in the States. In the US: men are supposed to be handsome, hard-working and hopefully wealthy. Here they just have to be tall, charming and funny.
79. Loneliness + boredom is far worse for Argentines than being overstimulated, claustrophic and stressed out
80. Sometimes in the morning, we hear the sound of a horse trotting down our street
81. Mullets are not ironic in Argentina, and even chicas have them
82. 16-year old girls look and act like 30-year olds, and 60-year old women have (fake) tits like 16-year old girls.