Seriously. Hell is the confluence of events all conspiring to make you miserable, like say, my WD external hard drive, when it just stops showing up on my desktop one steamy day, where I happen to store all 9,000 of my iTunes songs to clear up space in the hard drive of my MacBook. And then I read my inbox and I have 2 rejections from 2 literary journals in the course of 20 seconds, one of them very flattering (which is actually more upsetting in a way because it means you were close). Then my upstairs neighbor blasts possibly the worst music I've ever heard from his stereo, one crappy song after another, as if the name of his playlist was The One Crappy Hit After Another Playlist. He went from really bad Anthem techno to Ryan Adam's "Wherever you Go," the theme song of "Robin Hood" and then to Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love Is." Wait, you don't know that song? Let me repeat the brilliant chorus for you, tweaking just one word:
I wanna know what HELL is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what HELL is
I know you can show me
Now, I have absolutely no problem with people loving their music because I'm a musician and an audiophile myself, and I get the joy of playing music loud sometimes. But save it for a fucking fiesta dude, or 80's retronight at the boliche. At the very least, don't subject us to your unhealthy appetite of rock love ballads. For several hours, the music was so loud, I couldn't think straight. I'm serious. And what does this have to do with my external hard drive? Well, I can't even plug my headphones into my laptop and listen to good music because right now my computer isn't acknowledging that I have an external drive. Poof! 9,000 songs, all gone. Evaporating like Argentine pensions.
I'm telling you, hell is a fucking conspiracy. And we all know how much argentinos love a good teoría conspirativa.