83. You don't think it's possible until you come here, but there is such a thing as too much sun. Don't believe me? Just look at the Raisin Women in their 40's walking around with 16-year old tits
84. I'm sorry, but Argentine music just isn't that good. And there's not enough variety
85. Americans like to give each other a notice of a few days when they go out together. Argentines call each other a couple hours before they go out
86. Argentina is a nightmare for control freaks, which is probably why I like it. Everything and everyone is late. But since you know that ahead of time, you're never super-upset or super-offended when the Subte stalls at Callao for ten minutes, or when you waitress ignores you at Baraka Café for 40 minutes. In America, entitlement turns us into monsters. We get mad when the subway is 8 minutes late, or when the waiter forgets our water. We get belligerent when we don't get what we think we deserve, which is pretty much everything
87. They show the same movies on TV over and over again. How many time can you show "The Fast + the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift," "Jurassic Park," "Legally Blond" and the fucking "Bone Collector?" In America, this only happens during Christmas and holidays, when most of us are knocking back egg nog and ODing on Turtle chocolates. Like we care. . .
88. In America, running is really good for your health. In Argentina, and I can say this unequivocably, it might be the single most dangerous thing you do besides smoke Paco
89. Trying to talk about American movies with Argentines can be mind-numbing and futile, especially when the titles have weird translations. For example, "Cruel Intentions" becomes "Intenciones Sexuales," "Oceans 12" turns into "La Gran Nueva Estafa," and "Alto impacto" or "Vidas Cruzadas" is the Latinamerican translation for Paul Haggis's movie "Crash"
90. In Argentina, chocolate in all of its forms has been replaced with Dulce de Leche. Though sweet and delicious, this stuff is like gastronimic glue, keeping everything together, even when it doesn't belong there
91. Porteñas are pretty damn hot. I'm not gonna lie. But, they're also superskinny, I'd say too skinny, and not in a healthy way either. But more in a my-stomach-has-eaten-the-rest-of-my-body kinda skinny. Strangely enough, they never lose their boobs. LB said it best: Porteñas are skeletons with tits. American women, on the other hand, tend to be a little chunkier on average, and I can't say it's necessarily a healthy kind of chunky either, at least not in the south and the midwest. West Coast women, on the other hand, might be the perfect balance between the chunksters + give-me-another-IV-drip crowd
92. Argentine men honk at hot women on the sidewalk, who almost always ignore them. American men drive by them really slowly, blasting top 40 hip-hop from their souped up speakers. You can't help but stare at that, at least for a second
93. Argentines never seem interested in my career as a writer, nor what I'm writing about. Americans, maybe because they can't believe it could possibly be a career, can't stop asking me questions: what do I wrote about? What do I write? Have I been published? Do I have an agent?
94. In America, you have to get in to a graduate program in order take classes at a university. In Argentina, you pretty much just have to show up on registration day. I didn't realize this until one of my students told me that if I didn't get into USC, then I should just move to LA and start taking classes there anyway. I had to tell him that's not how things work with our higher education system, though it would be nice if it did. Related to this, when someone has a graduate degree from a good university in America, people are usually somewhat impressed because they know most people don't get in. Here, it just seems like a personal decision you make, like whether to buy the baguette or the Pan de Campo
95. This isn't true everywhere, but in some neighborhoods, there is trash everywhere on the sidewalks. And honestly, it's awful
96. There are recycling bins, except no one uses them. Case in point: the last time LB + I were in Puerto Madero, the "paper" bin had actually caught on fire
97. Constructions workers, following some universal law, whistle at women here too, just as they do in every other country I've ever seen
98. Porteños cross themselves when they pass churches. Americans pull out their cell phones
99. Dogs are usually dirty, scruffy, unleashed and sometimes vicious in BsAs (at least to other dogs). In America, they tend to be clean, well-groomed, and used to shameless amounts of human coddling. Additionally, Argetines don't get their dogs neutered or spade, and Rabies vaccines are about as common as the anthrax vaccine. In the US, you can't even adopt a pet from the humane society without those two basic requirements
100. I have yet to meet someone who does his own laundry in Buenos Aires. I know they exist, and I'm sure I'll get a few petulant comments from them, but as a whole, it seems like abuelas have a monopoly on dirty underwear
101. Americans freak out when their personal space gets violated. Argentines pull out their cell phones