I love LA in part because there are so many crazy people here. It really lowers the bar in terms of sanity + self-control. Among some of the spectacles I've witnessed in the past 3 days:
1. A woman walking down Hollywood Boulevard completely nude except for Edenic pieces of lettuce covering her erogenous zones. She carried a sign in her hand that said Justice
2. Yesterday, I was walking to class when I passed a guy in an orange LA county jumper, with a handcuff still hanging from one wrist. He quickly jumped on a motorcycle (+ either hotwired it or used the key, I don't know which) + drove down the sidewalk on Santa Monica Blvd
3. Today, as LB + I were taking the subway to Union Station, a guy with Asperger's Syndrome repeated the instructions of the automated train voice for each station, word for word, in Spanish + English
4. On my way back home from the airport, a different dude belted this to the passengers: all aboard ladies + gentlemen! Welcome to my vessel.
Eventually, a thuggish-looking passenger who referred to me as "blood," when complimenting my tats, starting getting in an argument with the make-believe train conductor:
--How many people believe he works for Metro?
--You're acting childish.
--Nigga, I'm being straight. How many people believe he works for Metro? Anyone?
--You don't know how to be a playboy.
--Nigga, I'm a hustler.
--All aboard! Ladies + Gentlemen, welcome to my vessel.
--How many people believe he works for Metro? Huh?
And then I got off. . .
5. Saturday, walking past Grauman's Chinese Theater, guys in Spiderman, Joker, Pirates of the Carribean, Hercules + Creepy Michael Jackson costumes, swarmed us, poking LB with balloon swords (+ no, that's not an euphemism). Fuck, actually that was the most normal part of the week too.