29 December 2010

Movie Star Sightings in 2010

Massive Disclaimer: I'm not what you'd call a starfucker by any stretch of the imagination. If anything, living in LA has made me less starstruck + more convinced that movie stars are normal people that just happen to have high-profile jobs, and since high-profile jobs are extremely coveted in America because they approximate fame, proffer tons of privileges and they create a sense of self-worth--not to mention, they always pay a shitload of money--of course, many Americans want a piece of the action. On a good day, when I'm feeling fair, I think: celebrities (not necessarily just movie stars) can and do use their status for good things (e.g. Jay-Z's clean water project in Africa, Angelina Jolie's human rights work as a UN ambassador, Steve-O's + President Clinton's promotion of veganism, Michelle Obama's anti-obesity + organic gardening campaign). On a bad day, when I'm feeling less charitable, I think: movie stars are vapid, vain, self-consumed, drug-addicted theater majors-on-steroids that rent fancy homes, get married while high on coke for six months and visit the plastic surgeon/botox aesthetician more than their own family; they need to be the center of attention in everything they do, even when they do it badly, craving the limelight even when it's receded into the twilight; movie stars are the ultimate dilettantes, dabbling in everything, specializing in nothing, their only saving grace being their looks (hence the botox + the plastic surgery fetish).

But like I said, most of the time, I'm ambivalent to the movie industry--equal parts fascinated + disgusted, intrigued + completely turned off, utterly convinced that movie stars are protectors of art + basically good people + also simulacrums of art + fake as shit. I'm even friends with a few movie stars + they're, by all measurable standards, basically awesome. But maybe they're exceptions to the rule. Maybe not.

So, take this entry with the following contradiction in mind:

Anyway, I live in LA + LA is movieland, full of movie stars (both the kind I love + the kind I hate), so I might as well give witness to my life. Here are my Movie Star Sightings just for 2010. I saw:

1. Steve-O at Vegan Glory

2. Scott Porter at Hollywood Target (Okay, okay, he's one of my friends + LB + I ran into him + chatted in front of the frozen pizzas about FNL, but still, it counts)

3. James Cromwell (LA Confidential, Green Mile) at M Café on Melrose

4. Amy Poehler at RFD in WeHo

5. Meredith Scott Lynn (Legally Blond) at M Café on Melrose

6. Chris Pontius at Whole Foods on W. 3rd

7. Michael Lynche the American Idol singer (with his wife) on Hollywood Boulevard

8. Eric Dane at RFD in WeHo

9. Ellen + Portia de Rossi at The Grove in what looked like an armored vehicle

10. David Navarro (RHCP + Jane's Addiction guitarist + ex-husband of Carmen Electra) at RFD in WeHo

11. Selma Blair at Whole Foods at Fairfax (in fact, I'm almost positive that Selma Blair checked me out + she was fucking cute as hell! Check out my tweet)

12. Jay Leno on Melrose Avenue interviewing people for his Late Night Show

13. Kris Kardashian-Jenner at some chi-chi red carpet deal in Beverly Hills

What's the least common denominator in all of this? With the exception of random run-ins on the street, movie stars are healthy! Just like me + LB! Also: many movie stars are pretty vegans, just like me + LB! But that's where the parallels end, my friend. That's where they end.